The Law of Murphy

Murphy's law: The probability of the bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
My bread will always fall butter side down on the carpet, no matter how cheap the carpet is. Not only that but my dumb dogs will refuse to eat it off the floor because they can't see the butter anymore. (insert sigh here) 
I filed my taxes on the 14th of January. The IRS installed their new software this year (to guard against anyone actually getting a refund) that same day. All the people who filed that day are now in limbo being searched for fraud and shall have NO refunds until the search is over. My daughter filed 10 days later and probably will get her refund sooner. (insert moan here)
Murphy, move on.
I am tired of the laws of probability kicking my trash. Surely once in a while I should get the laws of dumb luck on my side? It is my turn for yes she did find money on the street, everything went smoothly, and that turned out fine. There's a gratitude lesson here, isn't there? (insert humble grumbling here)
Lesson learned. Please grade me now and give me my refund.