In here I drop pearls of witty greatness for your edification.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Living the dream.

Forget fame and fortune, I've got riches untold. 10 Grand kids driving their parents to insanity each and every day. Then there's me cracking the whip behind the kiddies. My daughter told me today the comment I put on her blog was "wildly inappropriate". What does that even mean? I am an old woman. I worked hard to get here and I intend to embarrass my kids for the rest of my life.
I'm not trying to be "cool" or socialy correct.
 I am living the dream here. You have to see this from my side.
I was raised my son and 3 daughters alone and by alone I mean with absolutely NO cooperation from any of them. They took every opportunity to act out in public, destroy my home and car, and generally make my job as hard as possible. When they reached puberty I had had an exceptionally trying day with school fires and such and  I thought to myself "one day may all 4 of you know this pain". And now that it is here I am happy.
I could die tomorrow with a HUGE grin on my face. Oh yes, this tastes sweet. What, you've got to meet with the principal because your Princess thew her lunch tray over her head and refused to eat this "swill"? The only reason I haven't kicked it yet is I can't wait for the next call. Your son took a decorative sword to school? You're at the ER having a stone removed from your daughters nose? The cat threw up because one of the darling children fed him cheesecake? They both acted so bad in the store you're NEVER taking them again? One of them complained about his brother looking out "his" window in the car the whole way home?
I act sympathetic at the time, but in the back of my mind I am watching a rerun of the days when this child did something horrible to me in public. I'm reliving the school fire my darling set, or seeing my 17 year old flip me the bird as she drives off in MY car. Good times.

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