tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45289222141221374412023-11-15T05:47:57.430-08:00Old WomanAmbienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-50605326139739940302012-06-13T11:28:00.000-07:002012-06-13T11:28:20.813-07:00The gratitude trainMurphy continues to bug my world. My brother has been living with me for 2 years, see previous posts. All this time he has had $ 0.00 to contribute. So finally last month Social Security opened its cobweb filled coffers and said it was his time to have $. Ha and I repeat HA. I thought (to myself only) here is my turn to have some recompense. HA and Double Ha Ha again. <br />
I can't tell you how overcome with joy I was when he informed me of the pending wealth. I had a great time spending that money in my day planner. Unfortunately, that was the only place I would ever get to spend that money because it doesn't exist. <br />
The government sent him several letters stating that they owed him 32,000 buckeroos. He showed them to me and told me he would give me $ 7,000 when he got it.<br />
Then the deductions and explanation letters kept on rolling in until he ended up with $ 2,895.00. <br />
Why YES, that is <em>THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS</em> less. <br />
So basically I have supported his butt for 2 years for free. Of his giant windfall he gave me $ 300.00. I got the greatest feeling in the world from that news.. screwed by Uncle Sam and my brother in one go. <br />
Not that I am ungrateful for $300.00, but think of it this way. I supported him while he had NOTHING. The furniture in his room, his clothes, our toilet paper, power, soap, etc... all came from me.<br />
<br />
Now he sits around telling me how he spent $ 65.00 on the car he has driven for 2 years for free, or how he wishes we would not run out all the gas HE put in the tank. Holy shite Muslims, it's all I can do not to scream and strike him. The gratitude train has officially left the building. <br />
<br />
He bought himself a bunch of computer shite and gave me his old computer. Then I discovered it has no disc drive. So I can't even play a cd on it. <br />
He had Dish TV set up and has taken over the Internet payment of $ 35.00 per month. Why YES I was paying that these last 2 years also. So nice of you to notice, cause he didn't. <br />
AND we are AGAIN without AC for the summer. That is fine with him I guess. He keeps on keeping on about how he spent (whatever) for something for the house. My responses are mostly grunts. Screaming "F-U asshole" is probably in bad taste. <br />
The other really annoying thing about all this that he thinks he knows what is best for me. He goes out and buys ant killer (the same day I did) but he bought granules and spent $8.00 to my $ 4.00. I know I have ants on the deck Bucky I just can't afford everything the instant I see that I need it. Guess if I had $3,000 instead of $ 300 I could have bought that. <br />
Back during the gubment money fantasy days he decided he would buy an AC unit and have it installed. Because I could not be trusted to go to Home Depot and have it done?<br />
For 2 years everything has been "you just don't know how guilty I feel about not paying for anything" Now it has turned into "let me decide how much you need (evidently 10% is a huge contribution) and when you need something". He actually gave me a lecture about how I just can't be "Ni--er Rich" with the fantasy money. <br />
What I can't figure out is where the 2 years of gratitude and humility went. Evidently that was an act.<br />
Anyhow it never rains money in my section, just bullshite.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-90337832156011941882012-01-27T05:37:00.000-08:002012-01-27T05:37:51.487-08:00The Law of MurphyMurphy's law: The probability of the bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.<br />
My bread will always fall butter side down on the carpet, no matter how cheap the carpet is. Not only that but my dumb dogs will refuse to eat it off the floor because they can't see the butter anymore. (insert sigh here) <br />
I filed my taxes on the 14th of January. The IRS installed their new software this year (to guard against anyone actually getting a refund) that same day. All the people who filed that day are now in limbo being searched for fraud and shall have NO refunds until the search is over. My daughter filed 10 days later and probably will get her refund sooner. (insert moan here)<br />
Murphy, <span style="color: black;"><u>move on</u></span>. <br />
I am tired of the laws of probability kicking my trash. Surely once in a while I should get the laws of dumb luck on my side? It is my turn for yes she did find money on the street, everything went smoothly, and that turned out fine. There's a gratitude lesson here, isn't there? (insert humble grumbling here)<br />
Lesson learned. Please grade me now and give me my refund.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-70031659905887009842012-01-21T22:06:00.000-08:002012-01-21T22:06:48.169-08:00Living the dream.Forget fame and fortune, I've got riches untold. 10 Grand kids driving their parents to insanity each and every day. Then there's me cracking the whip behind the kiddies. My daughter told me today the comment I put on her blog was "wildly inappropriate". What does that even mean? I am an old woman. I worked hard to get here and I intend to embarrass my kids for the rest of my life. <br />
I'm not trying to be "cool" or socialy correct.<br />
I am living the dream here. You have to see this from my side.<br />
I was raised my son and 3 daughters alone and by alone I mean with absolutely NO cooperation from any of them. They took every opportunity to act out in public, destroy my home and car, and generally make my job as hard as possible. When they reached puberty I had had an exceptionally trying day with school fires and such and I thought to myself "one day may all 4 of you know this pain". And now that it is here I am happy. <br />
I could die tomorrow with a HUGE grin on my face. Oh yes, this tastes sweet. What, you've got to meet with the principal because your Princess thew her lunch tray over her head and refused to eat this "swill"? The only reason I haven't kicked it yet is I can't wait for the next call. Your son took a decorative sword to school? You're at the ER having a stone removed from your daughters nose? The cat threw up because one of the darling children fed him cheesecake? They both acted so bad in the store you're NEVER taking them again? One of them complained about his brother looking out "his" window in the car the whole way home?<br />
I act sympathetic at the time, but in the back of my mind I am watching a rerun of the days when this child did something horrible to me in public. I'm reliving the school fire my darling set, or seeing my 17 year old flip me the bird as she drives off in MY car. Good times.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-45296050976482884542012-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:002012-01-05T10:42:12.574-08:00You're a whiner, go with it.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The saga of the medicine. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">My health insurance recently changed and now forces me to use “Medco” for all my prescription needs. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This company makes you purchase 90 days worth of whatever medicine you need at a time. Then they mail it to you. Mostly a good thing since it takes them almost 90 days to send the next 3 months worth of medication.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I went to the doctor on December 16<sup>th</sup>. The doctor faxed a request to them for a medicine the same day. My doctor has a tablet he carries with him and I watched him key and send <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the fax.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Anyway, one of the medicines got here January 4<sup>th</sup>. Is that not more than 2 weeks? What if, say it was INSULIN? (which it was). And I needed it for SURVIVAL? (which I did). And the big answer by all the representatives I have talked to for the last 18 days? “Well it says here it is supposed to ship on the 3<sup>rd”</sup>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">No shit Sherlock, I can read. Your crappy website told me that 17 DAYS ago. I called you to see WHY it takes 18 days to ship the life saving medication. Also, since my credit card is on speed dial with these people, I was charged 18 days ago.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I could see if this was a great deal I was getting and it just takes a while to start up a routine with this company. But I have 13 medications they do for me and every one of them is this way. Not only is it slow but at Wal-Mart where I was getting this insulin it is $30.00 a bottle with the insurance. Medco gives me 3 bottles for $ 75.00. That is a whopping $ 5.00 per month savings!! The aggravation is free. The blood pressure medicine won’t be though.</div>Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-1725956506106924842011-08-25T18:17:00.000-07:002011-08-25T18:17:57.034-07:00Wow time flies<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I can't believe it's been a month and much more since I blogged. Mostly time has flown. We have had a protracted heat wave here and sitting in my un air conditioned house is difficult and sweaty. I am currently deciding on whether or not to take a second shower tonight to cool down for bed. So what's been going on?<br />
<div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">Well, currently my dog Shimalfinney has turned allergic to every known kind of dog food and her hair is all falling out. We took her to the vet today and she is on antibiotics for the infected scratching places and steroids for the allergic reaction to food. I thought she was dying for the last week and had resolved myself to it. We were taking her to the vet today to be put to sleep. I prayed for her and it worked. $40.00 worth of medicine did not hurt either.</div><div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">The car gave up the alignment ghost to the tune of $ 400.00 for tires and $100.00 for the alignment (to be done tomorrow). Dakota wrecked it into a pole. Strictly my fault, I assure you.</div><div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">The air conditioning in the car won't work and the tail lights are busted.</div><div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">Britt and I resurrected one light on each side and are hoping to fix them permanently before long. Also, we have to fix the heater/air before winter as the driving of a frozen car is pointless if you can't see out of it. Since the windshield washer was a victim of the pole incident... you get me?</div><div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">Brittany and the kids are severely cramped by the Denver Public School System's new regime. They were really happy with the schedule last year of 9 am to 3:30pm. This year the school is from 8am to 4pm. Woe be unto the non-morning kids in this house.</div><div closure_uid_ymzgz="115">Anyway, that is most of it.</div></div>Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-50913081234336429762011-07-03T20:49:00.000-07:002011-07-03T20:49:39.318-07:00Happy flippin 4th of JulyHappy 4th of July. My least favorite holiday. Why you ask?<br />
OK here is the story..<br />
I was having a great time with my 4 children on our 1st ever 4th of July together since their father had gone. I was originally very sketchy on this thing anyway since I was (and still am) uber-afraid of fire. However, after 2 hours of sparklers, wheels, snakes, fountains, and black cats we made it and I was so proud of us for NO burns or even near misses whatsoever. Hey, I always look at that glass as half-full.<br />
Anyway it was getting on towards 11 pm and I was thinking to myself that this fire eatin' momma stuff was pretty ok when my darling daughter Tobi came up to me in her Rainbow Bright pajamas and informed me she had something in her nose. And just like that the serenity of the evening was shattered. I tried to think it was a little thing and I could ignore it, but the only beads in a house full of 3 toddlers were very large and snapped together.... After waiting sseveral hours in the emergency room with 4 children (a very fun trip, I recommend it for all sadists everywhere) a doctor who had been treating burns all night looks up her nose and says to me "Is it the pink bead?" I told him I did not actually see the bead before the disaster or it would not be there, and how many were up there anyway?<br />
From that date on I have NOT participated in the 4th of July except once in California when my friend Pamela assured me she would "do everything" and my children would be fine and have sooooooo much fun. She grew up in Redding and knew the best spot to see the fireworks up on this hill above the stadium. We were so close to where the fireworks were detonating, that when any of them went off it set off the alarms on the cars around us. Just stompin' screamin' good fun. Needless to say I peed myself.<br />
There will be No fireworks in my driveway and no I do not go see them either.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-51568208765857462982011-07-01T19:13:00.000-07:002011-07-01T19:13:41.387-07:00Reunion and mice.This is Friday of my first vacation in at least 5 years. It has been wonderful. I do regret that we did not get to see much of my daughter Sarah and her family because she stayed with Tobi in Colorado Springs. I did however have the usual disaster-filled week one can expect with a giant family gathering. All this came to a head last night when we discovered that a mouse had moved into our house while we were at Tobi's and the Pirate Pool. <br />
Ok here is the week:<br />
Last Friday night Kale locked us out of our car at the church. We only waited 3 hours for the lock smith. Saturday and Sunday we had Cora and Alec over for the night.<br />
Monday was work. I do weekly payroll and it must be done by Wednesday at 7am, so I did it and left for the vacation.<br />
We spent Monday night with the whole gang at Rudy's and then Tobi's house so we could get up at the but-crack of dawn and go to Garden of the Gods and have a family portrait taken. Absolute chaos and terrific times were had by all. My ears are still ringing from Kale's whine fest there. The photographer was like 9 months pregnant and I thought she would surely give birth in the hills. All the family wore red, white, or blue. After getting lost ... oh an hour or so we ended up having a great time.<br />
Wednesday we had a trip to the Pirate Pool in Lakewood. After being lost for two hours we were only there a couple of minutes when a lifeguard kicked Phoenix out for not having real swim trunks on. Britt went to the store to get trunks and then when they walked back into the pool a kid went #2 in the pool and we had to leave. At our second job a truck exploded next door and the firetruck locked Britt in the gated yard for a few hours. Dakota came over that night and we had great fun the next day at the Pirate Pool a deux.<br />
Then we went home where the darn mouse was really determined to kick us out of the house. Brittany spent the next 10 hours screaming and clinging to the roof of her room. The boys got out brooms, dust pans, knifes, and a water gun to hunt the mouse down and kill it. <br />
Believe it or not I went to the grocery store and bought 2 mouse traps that were both <u>worthless </u>. Murphy's law of mouse traps: The probability of both traps in the package not working is directly proportional to the brazen taunting of the mouse it is being bought for.<br />
The traps will NOT stay open. I should have known better than to not buy the glue boards or old fashioned wooden traps. So we were all up till 3 am chasing this stupid mouse. Naturally, the dogs and cats were following it around also. Children and rude dogs and cats.. oh my. Phoenix threw up and Kale was dead on his feet from nearly drowning earlier. <br />
Today I slept from noon to 5:30pm to catch up on the sleep I did not get in the last week. Tomorrow it's off to the airport for us with Sarah. Then back to work the second job. I'm actually looking forward to a boring week.<br />
The motto for this week was if it ain't broke... it will be in a minute.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-51989279804441471762011-06-14T18:29:00.000-07:002011-06-14T18:29:34.668-07:00A lot of turns of phraseI am as mad as a wet hen. I know most of you have never seen a wet hen, but those of us who grew up eating what we grew or raised do know and it is terrible to behold. Whoever associated the word "chicken" with someone who was not brave was mistaken. Chickens are uncommonly aggressive when wet or robbed of their eggs. And armed as they are with a beak, well you get the picture.<br />
<br />
Today I found out at work that I do indeed have life insurance. I have gone the last year since my children's father died trying to figure out how to get life insurance without paying half my paycheck for it. Every company I contacted led me to 6 more wanna-be's who sent me relentless emails, phone recordings, texts, and snail mail about their astoundingly cheap insurance. Every time I completed the forms and sent them in, I got the same rates at the same astoundingly expensive prices. Let me tell you these forms weren't a picnic or a walk in the park to fill out either. When they say you are burning the candle at both ends they really mean you are staying up nights filling out the forms to find out what you're going to do about this no insurance thing.<br />
And burn that midnight oil I did and never got any "cheap" or even reasonable quote. <br />
Then today we got a packet to re-up our insurance with some new company in California. It's the big one Lizbeth... There was a beneficiary card in there with an actual explanation of benefits. Which I HAD all along these last 5 years!<br />
No wonder, the benefits director in Kansas City who told me I had nothing has recently been indicted. I wonder where my money went? <br />
But at last that is water under the bridge and I can say with a heavy sigh <br />
How do you spell relief? <br />
L i f e I n s u r a n c e.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-35206604734768848932011-06-13T18:23:00.000-07:002011-06-13T18:23:26.401-07:00This poem is for all of us who have FallenHow can I dare<br />
a weak and mortal man<br />
Lift up<br />
my feeble human hand<br />
and seek toward the mighty hand of God?<br />
<br />
I've earned no grace<br />
my measure is so small<br />
my worth<br />
I've done nothing at all<br />
that he should even notice <br />
such as I.<br />
<br />
He speaks my name<br />
and bids me follow him<br />
his life<br />
he gave for every man<br />
a love so great I can not <br />
comprehend.<br />
<br />
His love is pure<br />
he lifts me from the fall<br />
I reach<br />
least worthy of them all<br />
transformed into a treasure<br />
by his love.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-68520870543332413142011-05-28T22:24:00.000-07:002011-05-28T22:24:39.941-07:00I know, what am I doing up?<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tonight I am giving a shout out to my lovely daughter(s) who's lives voyages have recently taken them up diarrhea river without a paddle, or much of a boat for that matter.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In this life there were some terrible days and nights for me also. When the world was dark and it seemed like everybody forgot me and the pain of lost love was so awful. I kept thinking I would wake up tomorrow and be dead of it, because I could not take the pain anymore. When the worst had come true and there was no way to change the awful truth. No place to run away from it. And facing it and "dealing with it" was just too much for me. I hid, I cried for days, I ran away, and I waited and waited for that "easier" all my friends said was coming with time. But time didn't seem to be effecting the way I felt. And I cried some more. There were days and nights of endless torture where I could not get it out of my mind and the betrayal drove me and controlled my feelings and thoughts. Those dark days went on for a long time. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not going to tell you that it gets better, because it doesn't get better. What can fix ultimate betrayal? What can help you not feel so stupid not to have known? What can bring the trust back?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What eventually happens is you grow a callus over your heart and it sort of shores up the spots where it broke. It is almost funny because my actual chest hurt, oh yes there was physical pain in the breaking of my heart. The callus is just a band aid though and you are changed forever. The lucky ones go back in and attempt to have it all again. For me it was too deep. Too sharp. There was no way to truly fix it and so it never worked for me again. Trust means pain to me now. But both of you are young. Go back in, try to trust, try to love. It is worth it. The highs are great. So don't give up, don't give in.. Hang on.</span></strong>Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-41832928085705440422011-05-27T20:16:00.000-07:002011-05-27T20:16:34.060-07:00Who lets stupid people use a phone?I am the queen of the sarcastic (yet so politically correct) cut for the salesmen calling to sell my boss something. "I'm sorry (lets call him Dave) doesn't accept solicitation or survey calls. I'll be happy to take your information and if he is interested, he'll get back to you." Cut much?<br />
The smart ones hang up at this because they realize I can't be gone around. If you want in, you gotta go through me. <br />
The dumb ones say, and I quote "I am not selling anything". <br />
Really? So you picked up a phone today and decided to call a business and talk to the owner for grins?. No, they go on and on about how this is not to sell anything they just have a business matter to discuss with him. So I ask, what are you giving away then? The rude ones say "Just put him on, I'm sure he wants to talk to me." To which I reply are you a personal friend?. At this point most of them give up and disconnect the call. The really stupid ones don't get it and actually call back hoping to get the nice receptionist. <br />
Hello again dipstick, you ask for the owner, you get <em>his </em>receptionist. One guy started screaming at me today about how rude I am. Yes, it hurt my feeling(s) and I let him through of course.... NOT.<br />
The truly gifted one calls every day. He has made it his life mission to get through to my boss. He snarls at the sound of my voice "This is (whatever fake name he is using that day) let me talk to Dave. At the sound of "May I tell Dave who's calling?" He hangs up. He used to hang in there for the "and who are you with?" speech too but he is just not as forceful as he used to be. I think he just wants to make sure I did not take a personal day or something.<br />
Today I met the KING of salesman who told me he would call Dave's cell and tell him what a nice receptionist he has if I could give it to him. Hello dumb ass if you want his cell you're gonna have to do better than that. Even with a 101 degree fever and mini mouse voice I don't give that out.<br />
What I really don't get is why would you call up random businesses and expect to get through to the owner to try to sell your overpriced (whatever). They call in droves, I swear there is a web site somewhere that told every half-baked salesman on the planet to call us. And not just in my state, they call from Canada. Are you kidding me? You want to sell me a phone system from Canada? aaaa????Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-17999144505317960442011-05-16T14:21:00.000-07:002011-05-16T14:21:22.764-07:00I can NOT be sick again, can I?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Where is carma when you need her? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I went home Friday night and my body went into open rebellion. Not just a little cold or stomach ache. The whole scheboingo. My throat closed up and I felt like when you suck a drink down the wrong pipe. Then the fever/headache/stomach ache appeared. Then the cold symptoms came on double pace. I spent the whole night Friday trying to tell myself that this was a bug I swallowed on the way home or some other strange phenomenon, not possibly an illness since . . .</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I JUST got over this same crappy illness.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">By Saturday morning at <time hour="19" minute="30">7:30</time> I was as depressed as a woman can get; sick again. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Now it is Monday and I feel like leftover horse doodee. I sound like Minnie mouse and I am eating pain meds and cold pills like crazy so I can stay at my job for 8 hours. I will take a marathon (10 hour ) nap tonight and do it again tomorrow. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to KILL my co-worker who gave me this when I had to sit in his desk and do the deposit Thursday and Friday because he was on vacation. Unfortunately, he is still sick too.</div>Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-47972065873066251472011-05-02T10:25:00.000-07:002011-05-02T12:47:58.078-07:00Where is his leg?<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 640px;" x:str=""><colgroup><col span="10" style="width: 48pt;" width="64"></colgroup><tbody>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="3" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan; width: 144pt;" width="192"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; width: 48pt;" width="64"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"></span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">There are things I live for in my old age. The best EVER are the moments when the Grandkids get even on my behalf with their parents.</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">My son and oldest child is currently residing in the 5th ring of Hell with his 14 year old juvenile delinquent/ rebel. I sometimes have this child over just to hear the latest truly horrible experience his Father is having raising him. You can't laugh out loud in front of the teenager or he will think his antics are cute to you, but I have nearly lost a rib holding this crap inside until they leave so I can bust up.</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">My youngest Daughter lives in the bowels of Hell because of the mouths on her kids. Ah… She has no idea how bad this will get later on, or maybe she does since she is the one who said to the Principal "I'm gonna kick your face in."</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">My middle Daughters son cut his hair into the "Flock of Seagulls" arrangement last night and I had to shave his head. He spends most of his time pleasing me and torturing her.</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">But this week the best of the best happened to Tobi, my oldest daughter. She took her little minions to Wally World and there was a war Vet there with a missing leg. They both SCREAM out "Mom, his leg is gone!" Oh my goodness. No kidding? I almost snorted my lung out while she was telling me. So she is trying to usher them into the store without further embarassment while they keep pointing and shouting "But Mom, where is his leg?"</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td colspan="10" height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt; mso-ignore: colspan;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">Ah revenge is sweet. So the next time your little ones do something terrible, in public remember: all you have to do is live long enough for them to have kids then you get to watch them squirm.</span></td></tr>
<tr height="18" style="height: 13.2pt;"><td height="18" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec; height: 13.2pt;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: #d8d5ec; border-left: #d8d5ec; border-right: #d8d5ec; border-top: #d8d5ec;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-39963394077901581072011-04-27T10:54:00.000-07:002011-04-27T10:54:08.935-07:00WednesdayObviously its Wednesday. It is also Secretary Day and my 5 year anniversary at work. It is also the day I clean and renew the office building I work in. <br />
So my daughter was cleaning a bathroom across the street and found a porn rag called Coco or something like that. It was positively sticky with human DNA. EWWWWW<br />
Also, I took a bunch of change collected from the bottom of random trucks in the yard and poured Coke all over them.<br />
Yep, it ate off the grime and grease in about an hour.<br />
Experimentation at work.<br />
Some good.<br />
Some bad.<br />
Some tedious. (cleaning)<br />
I threw the magazine away and sent out a notice from HR about sexually explicit content at the workplace.<br />
Yes, I am the HR person, the secretary, payroll, accounts receivable, billing, and the janitor.<br />
Welcome to the new millennium.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-18809623769315308192011-04-14T10:43:00.003-07:002011-04-14T10:43:26.095-07:00This is my new blog?OK this must be the part where you forget you forgot or something.<br />
I don't remember creating this blog... but there you are.<br />
Maybe next year I can hide my own Easter Eggs!Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4528922214122137441.post-56268555281720721032011-02-12T07:10:00.000-08:002011-02-12T07:10:36.680-08:00Valentines DayThe day of love is here. Woo Hoo. I have had zero luck in the love department. However I find as I grow old that the love of my life is my kids and grand kids. They make me happy and I find endless joy watching them grow. Maybe some day I will have all 10 of them together and they can see how happy they make me.Ambienididityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01212969177964903388noreply@blogger.com0